Under the Dryer

Saturday 6 May

"You'll never guess what we were talking about at the hairdressers just now!" I exclaimed to my husband Neil as I came through the door.

"Daleks?" He ventured.

"How did you guess?"

Now, although I am a lady of a certain age, I'm really not that interested in the sorts of things women are supposed to obsess about: spas, facials, manicures and all other sorts of female pampering leave me cold.  But even I need to get my hair cut occasionally (three times a year, whether I need it or not.)

So there I was, casually listening to my stylist chatting about what her partner was likely to be making in his shed whilst she was working, when my ears suddenly pricked up as she said: "I've got a life size Dalek in my spare room that he made."

"Me too" I replied, "but mine's inflatable."

So I related the tale of Derek the Departmental Dalek, and she told me about Darren the Dalek, who was back home after being loaned to Aylesbury Museum. Her partner, Neal, had built him after a friend bet him £20 that he wouldn't be able to make one.  It's made of plywood and fibreglass and can even talk, nod and light up.

I now have Dalek envy.  But you have to admit it's a lot more interesting than "where are you going for your holidays?"

Vote Dalek!

19 April 2017

Those of you who pay some attention for what passes as the real world these days may have noticed that there is going to be a General Election in the UK on 8 June.

Back in 2005, when the show had only just returned, Russell T Davies was able to get away with a plot involving aliens taking over 10 Downing Street and trying to provoke a war on the basis that (faked) aliens had 'massive weapons of destruction' that could be deployed within 45 seconds* the Radio Times ran with a cover, during a General Election campaign, which said 'Vote Dalek.'

Well, I was tempted. Very tempted.  So when it came to the County Council ballot paper, and I really didn't care much for any of the candidates, I may, just possibly,  have omitted to put an X against any of the candidates, and written 'vote Dalek' at the bottom of the ballot paper.**

I don't recommend this as a course of action (imagine if everyone did it and we ended up with Davros in charge) but if you really don't know who to vote for, it is better to make the effort to turn out spoil your paper and register a protest than to stay at home and be counted as apathetic. Remember that the candidates (or at least their agents) get to see the spoilt papers.)

Women fought long and hard to get the vote.  It is important to use it.

*This was highly topical at the time.
** Of course, I could have imagined the whole thing. 

Ten Things I Hate about 'Who'

11 February 2017

Today's Times included a column by Giles Coren in which he argued that what brings couples together is not shared likes, but shared dislikes.  I'm not sure that shared likes are as disastrous as all that. After all, I have survived 26 years of marriage to a Who fan. But the article ends with a list of his own 'dislikes', which got me thinking about the things I don't like about Doctor Who.

1. The Sixth Doctor's coat.  Uncontroversial, this one, I should think. Poor Colin's episodes would have been much better appreciated if viewers had not had to contend with being dazzled by an amazing technicolour dreamcoat that even Andrew Lloyd Webber would have balked at.

2. Over-bright lighting. This was a particular feature of the Eighties episodes. Whilst there is no need to go the full X-Files and have most of the action in pitch darkness, a bit of gloom would help to hide some of the deficiencies in monster costumes (and the Sixth Doctor's coat.)

3. The current credit sequence with the naff-looking clock.  Bring back the time vortex, preferably with the rock version of the theme tune.

4. Excessively long story arcs.  I don't want to have to wait until the year after next to find out what caused Amy's crack.

5. Lame jokes about Daleks and stairs. Daleks can levitate up stairs perfectly well, as has been established at least since Remembrance of the Daleks.

6. Gallifrey.  The Tenth Doctor's description of it to Martha in Gridlock was wonderful, but the reality is a boring place peopled with unpleasant, small-minded hypocrites. And the food doesn't look to be up to much, either. Now that it has been found, could it please be lost again, pronto?

7. The press asking the current Doctor when he is going to leave, almost as soon as he has started.

8. Fantasy Doctor casting.  As soon as it is known that the current incumbent, fed up by being constantly pestered by the press about when he is going to leave, finally gives in and announces the date, the name of just about every celebrity in the country gets linked to the role, even those who aren't actors.

9. Is it about time there was a female Doctor? No. Not even Olivia Colman, fine actress though she is. The speculation every time is just boring.

10. Nothing.  I love Doctor Who. 

Merchandise, Merchandise

One of the advantages/perils of being known to be a Doctor Who fan, is that people give you merchandise as gifts.

In the dark days of the mid-nineties, my leaving present from a job included David Banks' Cybermen book and a poster of the Daleks crossing Westminster Bridge. The poster duly graced my office wall in my next two jobs.

Then there was the inflatable Dalek that a couple of History professors left outside my office.

But books and Daleks, whether in photo or blow-up formats are fine.  Jigsaws are another matter entirely.

Don't get me wrong, Vincent and the Doctor and The Pandorica Opens are great stories, but the person who thought that the Van Gogh picture of the exploding TARDIS would make an excellent jigsaw should have both his ears cut off.  

The colleague who gave me this abomination wanted photographic proof of the completed article, all 2,000 pieces of it.  All the pieces were either dark blue, or multi-coloured swirls that could have gone anywhere. The only place to do it was my dining table, so I had an added incentive to complete it, or never have Sunday lunch again.

It took six weeks....

June 2006: Farewell to Rose

3 June 2006

I thought this episode was going to be terrible, but it was excellent.  I liked the double bluff at the beginning with the Ood appearing menacing and then turning out to be merely hospitable.  The scene where Toby was possessed was really spine-chilling.

 10 June 2006

Not quite as good as last week, but very good nevertheless.  I have spent all the past week muttering “the Beast and his Armies shall rise from the Pit”. Especially on Tuesday. [6/6/6]. 

17 June 2006

This is the episode we have been worrying about.  In the end, I quite enjoyed, it, but I’m not sure that it was Doctor Who.  It is the first time I have really warmed to Jackie, but I think it might have been better without Peter Kay.  Apparently the kid who designed the Abzorbaloff intended it to be the size of a double decker bus, but forgot to mention this in his competition entry.  I think it might have worked better if it had been that bit bigger and less like Peter Kay in a green fat suit.

 24 June 2006

This week’s episode was surprisingly good.  Unfortunately, I was filled with the urge to make some little cakes decorated with ‘edible ball bearings’ for tea on Sunday. I managed to drop the sieve, sprinkling copious amounts of icing sugar over the kitchen floor and my jeans, and then, when I finally managed to get the top off the tub of silver balls, they scattered far and wide.  I now have a very sticky kitchen.  Still, the cakes tasted all right.  (Culinary note – those silver balls are also handy for making marzipan Daleks).

1 July 2006

I don’t know quite how we managed it, but today we are flying to Italy for a holiday, so we won’t be seeing tonight’s episode live.  The one good thing about this is that we don’t end up spending large amounts of money on buying day-old English newspapers while we are there, in case they have anything about the episode in them.

 9 July 2006

We arrived back late last night, missing the final episode as well.  The first thing to do this morning after unpacking and loading the washing machine, was to watch Army of Ghosts. This could have been extremely silly, but fortunately wasn’t.  The unveiling of the Daleks at the end was a surprise.  I had heard vague rumours that Daleks might be involved because the trailer appeared to show a Dalek gun being used, but didn’t think a Dalek gun necessarily meant actual Daleks. After all, we already knew that one Dalek had fallen to Earth, and Torchwood collects alien artefacts.

Later, we saw Doomsday.  Well, it was fairly obvious that Rose wasn’t really going to die, or she wouldn’t have been there to tell the story, and once the parallel Earth came up again it was fairly obvious what was going to happen.  Still, it was a moving end, if not quite as good as The Girl in the Fireplace. Not sure about the Catherine Tate bit though.  It had rather the same effect as the “Phil’s back…and he’s not happy” voiceover on the ending of Casanova when it was broadcast on BBC1.

How it all started....

Jon Pertwee was my first Doctor. 

My earliest (possibly unreliable) memory of actually watching Doctor Who was of  Death to the Daleks, or, as my family knew it, 'the one with the hearthrugs.' (I'll explain later). I know I saw The Dinosaur Invasion, as I can remember talking about it, but my memories of Doctor Who from that time are all very muddled with power cuts, the Three Day Week (ask your grandparents), football results and sausage sandwiches for tea.  I know I watched it and enjoyed it, even if the Daleks were viewed from behind the family sofa - cream vinyl, later covered with green nylon stretch covers, if you are interested.  We lived in a bungalow, so the Daleks were particularly scary.

I missed some of Tom Baker.  My mother didn't like his eyes.  She didn't like Marty Feldman's eyes either, and we weren't allowed to watch anything with him in it. Even things like Monty Python that he wasn't actually in. I know I saw some Tom Baker stories. I was terrified by Pyramids of Mars, and I definitely remember being scared of Davros in Genesis of the Daleks.  But there were gaps.  I started watching The Stones of Blood about half way through, and remember having no idea what this Key to Time thingy was supposed to be for. I think this was around the time that I decided I preferred the TV version of Logan's Run and Buck Rogers in the 25th Century.

When Peter Davison took over, I watched fairly regularly, even if it did clash with Coronation Street. I had a bit of a crush on the Fifth Doctor, or possibly even Adric.  (Definitely not Turlough, though).

I stopped watching regularly after the Fifth Doctor regenerated.  I watched if I happened to be around when it was on, but I could take it or leave it. 

I think this pattern of Doctor Who watching is probably fairly common for someone of my vintage. When I went off to university I had no idea that the children's programme of my youth was going to return to haunt the rest of my life. 

But then I fell in love with a Doctor Who fan. As he didn't have a VCR at the time, I recorded Sylvester's final season for him off-air, lovingly typing the labels.

...to be continued.